Hi guys, how are you doing? Good? Love it for you.
This week on Erotics and Whatnot, we are reading about proven ways to improve communication with your partner. Hold on to your horses, my lovelies.
By the way, have you read the last post about Yoruba men? It would help if you did that here.
“Good morning, how are you doing?”
“Fine, and you?”
The above example is how a ‘fictional couple” in my head communicates; I know couples have days when communication is hard, and you should know this post is not to criticize how you and your partner have conversations. This post is to tell you how to improve communication with your partner.
Some of us might have been in situations where we wanted to talk with our partners but needed to learn how to steer the conversation.
You are not alone; others are stuck in a loop, not knowing how to get out.
Luckily for you, there are proven ways to help you improve communication with your partner; pick the one that works for you and go with it. Remember to take your time.
Ways to Improve Communication with your Partner
Like I said earlier, pick one and go with the flow; don’t try to force it if one way doesn’t works for you; there are others you can try to improve communication with your partner.
Make sure to pick on Non-verbal Cues.
Watch your partner’s tone; you are not paranoid or thinking they are not happy with you. If their tone is not the same as before, maybe they sound angry or irritated. Attitude speaks volumes in communication; you must watch for facial expressions and body language. You should not start monitoring them but watch out once in a while. They might not even be mad at you; it can be something else, but you asking, “What is wrong?” might help them process whatever they are feeling.
Do not read minds; you are not Charles Xavier.
As someone that has been in this position, do not try to read minds or assume. You should not try to figure out what is on your partner’s mind; if you are unsure about something they said to you, ask them to explain clearly so you would know where you stand. Don’t be afraid to ask; clarity is important in every relationship.
Create a Judgment Free space to talk
Set aside a time, maybe one hour a week, depending on the arrangement you and your partner come to but set that time for a talk. Make sure there is no judgment, just the two of you enjoying each other’s company as you express your feelings. It can be something the two of you look forward to; you might not even have to talk, as I have heard that being together in silence can help some couples improve communication.
Most people out there have a lot to say, problem? They also have a partner who has a lot to say. One has to listen while the other speaks, and vice versa. By listening, you will catch up on things you didn’t notice, which will urge your partner to express themselves more if they know you are interested in what they are talking about.
Express yourself using “I” statements
Make your partner understand by expressing how you feel with “I” statements. Instead of accusing upright, make your statement personal by expressing how hurt you felt. Example: Accusatory Statement: You made me feel bad today. “I” Statement: I was hurt by what you did today. The latter has a feeling that would make a person feel remorse and apologize for what they did.
Understand how you feel
Only when you understand what you feel can you make a proper case of your feelings. You should know exactly what you want and the exact feelings you are processing so you will understand when trying to improve communication with your partner. When you understand how you feel, you are less prone to manipulation.
You should always express how you want to be treated by your partner. Make sure to tell them what works and what makes you uncomfortable. They should do the same, too; it would make you feel comfortable if your partner recognizes your boundaries and respects them.
Do not shout
You should do everything to avoid shouting. When you shout, you lose an argument, and when you and your partner shout at each other, you are not communicating. You should respect each other and talk in clear tones, and if one of you loses their temper, you should take some time to yourself and revisit the conversation.
Understand your partner’s needs
When your partner communicates their feelings and needs, you should try to listen and understand them as much as possible. It is not enough to say you understand. You have to mean it. When you understand their needs, you can attend to them, improve communication and move forward in the relationship.
Try face to face talk.
This is the most effective way to improve communication with your partner, as you can see the expression on your partner’s face as they talk. Some relationships are long distance and might not get to speak face to face, but they can video call and see how each partner reacts to them communicating.
Relationships are a lot of work, and communicating properly can seem like a lot of work, but doing it regularly can make it easier fie you and your partner.
Remember you are in this with your partner, and your feelings are not the only ones at stake in the relationship, so take your partner along.
That is all for today; I hope you learned a thing or two about how to improve communication with your partner.
Let me know what other ways on how to improve communication with your partner tips you would like to see on the blog in the comments.
I will see you next week.