Hi guys, how are you doing? It has been a rough couple of weeks, and I know I have been away for a while. I had writer’s block that made me feel unproductive, but I guess I’m back now. I hope you received the valentine’s newsletter; if you didn’t, then you need to subscribe.
Today we are going to be talking about Sex Addiction. I understand that this is a touchy topic, and people might not be comfortable talking about being addicted to sex. People often get laughed at when they talk about their sex addiction; the stigma is too much.
But the truth is we all have our addictions; for instance, I am addicted to watching Friends over and over; some people suffer from soda addiction or eating addiction; addictions come in all forms. We try to hide them as much as we can.
Today, I have some tips for you; if you suffer from sex addiction or know anyone who suffers from it, you are in the right place. Just read till the end.
Remember that these tips will not work unless you are determined to do the work.
So let’s get into it.
*wears geeky glasses.
STAGES OF SEX ADDICTION
For a person to get addicted to something or a “vice,” they will pass through some phases; addiction doesn’t happen on the spur of the moment; it takes time to manifest, and when it does, you are in too deep already. There are six primary stages of addiction, be it sex or anything.
- Dormant: This is a stage where the addiction is in remission (i.e., resting). In this stage, the addiction is waiting to be triggered by either physical or psychological events.
- Trigger: This is an event that is either emotional, a single thought, physical, or even a bodily sensation that triggers the addiction into existence. The trigger in this case will be a sexual encounter.
- Preparation: This phase is the planning phase, such as when and how the activity will take place; it also involves psychological strategies to create an environment where the activity can be enjoyed. A person suffering from sex addiction might have a place where they have sex every day or a time when they can indulge in their addiction.
- Acting Out: This is the high point of Euphoria, which brings relief to people. This can be having sex and having that feeling of happiness before the accompanying relief you feel when you are done with sex.
- Regret: If you have ever experienced post nut clarity, you would have this feeling of regret when you are done indulging in your sex addiction (If you want me to write about post nut clarity, let me know in the comments). After you have had an orgasm or experienced your high, you would feel regret because deep down, you know you are not supposed to indulge in that activity. You might hate yourself for this.
- Reconstitution: This is the phase where the addict is trying to get their lives back on track, either consciously or unconsciously. Although it takes a lot of willpower, the addict might go back to their addiction; it might take weeks and months to let go of sex addiction.
If you notice you are going through any of this phase mentioned above, the chances are you are addicted, it might not be sex, and it might be something else. Reach out and talk to someone and try these tips I will be talking about next. They should help if you are ready to try them.
TIPS ON HOW TO OVERCOME SEX ADDICTION
I hope these tips help you or someone you know overcome sex addiction.
- Accountability: Seek out trusted people in your life, be it your family member or your friends; let them know your trigger and your patterns so they can call you to order when they notice it. If you do not have trusted people in your life, you can join groups or forums to share your troubles. Just make sure you have someone to help keep you in check.
- Partnering: You need someone sort of like a mentee or a fellow addict that will go on this journey with you. If the person you choose to partner with is also a sex addict, you can help each other overcome it; if your partner is also a recovered sex addict, they can help with tips that helped them on their journey.
- Distractions: One of the things I tell anyone who is suffering from any form of addiction is to find a distraction. You need to direct your mind somewhere else and focus on that thing until the urge to indulge in your addictions passes. You can watch movies, binge-watch sitcoms, read a book, do a puzzle and take a walk. Just try to do something to take your mind off it; it might not seem that effective, but it works.
- Securing: We all have certain items or even a person that we feel safe around (God when?). When you feel the urge to indulge in your addiction, you can seek out your security item or your favorite person and talk to them. These little things matter if you are trying to get over your addiction.
- Praying: Pray to whatever you believe in; it is always assuring to know there is a being out there watching over you. I know it might be hard sometimes to pray, but you don’t need to pressure yourself; all you have to do is talk about what is troubling you. You don’t need to be perfect to pray; all you have to do is talk.
- Predicting: Try to keep a journal of your triggers and your behavior and write down the goals you want to achieve. This will help you keep a clear focus on what you want.
- Seek Out Help: You should seek out a professional to talk to. You can set up an appointment with a therapist and get professional insights into your addiction. It will help you on your journey.
So there you have it, tips to help you with your sex addiction, I hope they help you, and I would love to know if they help you. You can head to the Contact Page to write to me or email me at email@example.com.
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See you soon.