Hi there, how are you doing? It has been a while since I wrote and I apologize for my tardiness but here I am.
Today, we will be talking about sex aftercare for you and your partner, if anyone of you know what aftercare is, raise your hand, I don’t care where you are right now, raise your hand up.
Alright, for those that don’t know, I’m here to rescue you and if you are at the age below 18, please do yourself a favor and go watch Cocomelon or something else.
What is sex aftercare?
First off, the term “sex aftercare comes from the kink community, Lovely people might I add, came up with this term that basically means the care that is provided to a person after sex. This care comes in two ways, emotional and physical care.
Sex aftercare helps to reduce hormonal crashes and also helps to integrate their experience and it is really important to care for your partner, post nut clarity hits some people harder than others and it is important your partners have someone to hold them and just sit with them or listen to whatever they have to say.
Believe me, it will go a long way to strengthen the connection between you and your partner and if you are looking to even deepen your connection, this is the way to go.
Physical Sex Aftercare
Providing Hydration: Sex is a physical activity that can sometimes be rigorous and will drain you of your energy after your orgasm and both partners will need to rehydrate and relax for a bit. You can provide water, a cool juice for electrolytes so your partner can relax and be hydrated, that way, they can go again a second time.
In addition to liquids, you can provide snacks and comfort food, I know if I just finished having sex and my partner provided me with white rice and plantain with boiled eggs and lots of meat (I digress but you get the point). Snacks are best enjoyed with a partner so consider this today and if you can’t afford it, you can always provide liquids.
Physical touch after sex: Sex aftercare also includes the classic cuddling and spooning in bed, touching bodies can provide comfort to your partner because they knew you are there for them and not just walking out of the room. This will also help for first-time sex as there are lots of emotions your partner will process and they will need you with them. While this is great, remember that some of our partners will like their spaces to themselves, so it is important to know what your partner prefers after sex.
The key is communication: I find that planning ahead will save you a lot of stress, so make sure you find out what your partner likes and make sure you do them, trust me, it will make them really happy.
Mental Sex Aftercare
Now this is where it gets tricky because people differ and sex is purely emotional for some people and it will take them a while to adjust to the idea of it. So tread lightly and know that your partner’s mental state is important to you.
- Positive Feedback: Have you ever asked someone how the sex was and they shrugged or said “It was alright?” Phew, some of us will feel really bad and start to doubt ourselves when it comes to sex. So it is important to give positive feedback after sex, tell your partner how they rocked your world. You don’t even have to exaggerate, just have soft pillow talk. You know these things that make your partner likes that make them blush, go ahead.
- You can also hang out and chill with them, watch a movie, play video games if that is your thing, and just relax in each other’s arms.
- The focus should be on both partners’ enjoyment, don’t just hustle your own “nut” and leave your partner on the edge, reach orgasm together, and experience that high together. Nothing like it, the focus is not just you it is on both of you.
- If your partner is a victim of abuse or has trauma, aftercare is really important. It will help provide them with a space for them to feel safe after they have had sex. They will feel wanted and be able to express whatever they are feeling. Please this is really important and you have no idea how much it will go a long way for your partner.
- BDSM: If you and your partner engage in BDSM, it is absolutely important that there is aftercare for your partner. BDSM is draining and might leave your partner feeling inadequate. So please provide sex aftercare for them.
Remember that sex is a different experience for you and your partner, so try your best to view things from their end and care for them.
Sex aftercare brings you and your partner together so make sure to take down what they like after sex.
Which sex aftercare would you be making sure to provide for your partner and would you be asking your partner what makes them feel safe and happy after sex? Let me know in the comments.
Make sure you share this post with your friends, your partners, your contact list, your followers, and your mutuals.
The framework for this post was provided by Jessica, a friend of mine and you can check out her Twitter here.
I will write next time.