Welcome, my babies; how are you doing? Are you fine? If not, talk to me; I will listen, I promise 💖). When I said babies, I don’t mean you, young man; don’t hide at the back, oya leave my class before I deck you.
Get settled, this is going to be fun, and if you are clocking eighteen, you can come in and read; welcome to the adult class. I am so excited for you to read what I have for you today. (Holds marker and faces the whiteboard).
Today we will be talking about sex positions for beginners or first-timers, so if you consider having sex for the first time (I am so excited for you), you should have these tips handy. And if you are having sex with a first-timer, whether it is a man or a woman, you should definitely use these positions to make the whole experience enjoyable for them.
Please know that first-timers might feel awkward and uncomfortable before they have their first sex, so try to make them comfortable in any way you can. When they feel comfortable, their bodies will relax to enjoy the experience, especially in women properly.
Remember to take it easy; this is your first sex, so don’t go and start doing split in the middle style; you might end up in the ER, so take it slow. Also, if you are a male first-timer, please don’t try to impress your partner by giving her intense strokes; go easy; these positions are delightful. They are simple yet very pleasing. YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO OVERBOARD WITH SEX. EASY DOES IT.
So let’s goo.
The 8 sex positions for beginners you should have handy
- The Star
- Rock and Roll/Legs up
- Spectacular View/Flatiron
- Reverse Cowgirl
You might be familiar with some of these, and those of you that are just hearing this for the first time, give me a few minutes before I explain them to you. (Opens plate of Amala).
Okay, I’m back now; I had to eat the Amala as e dey hot. You know how it goes already (if you hate Amala, I am here to tell you to seek therapy, you really need it.
This is the oldest sex position ever, and it is so enjoyable, it can never go out of style. It is really ideal for slow lovemaking, candlelight situation while your partner slowly penetrates you and looks deeply into your eyes (my goodness, I would literally go crazy).
For this position, you have to lie on your back, with your leg spread and your knees up while your partner penetrates you and gives you intense strokes. This position is the go-to position for sex, and it is a very comfortable posture for women. You can also switch it up if you like; you can raise your hips and meet with your partner’s strokes halfway.
Giddy up horsie 😂. This style is elite too, and it helps the female partner gain control over speed and intensity while having sex. You also get to show your male partner your skills, and he gets to have a view of your breasts bouncing on him. He can grab them if he likes yunno 😎. For this position, have your partner lie down while you kneel on top; you can rest on your back on your partner’s thighs to ease the weight on the pelvis. Now ride him, cowgirl, yeehaw.
No, I do not mean spoon as in the one you eat your cereal with (quick question, are you milk before cereal kind of person or cereal before milk kind of person. If you choose the latter, seek therapy.) This is position elite for morning sex, you know when you wake up in the morning, and your partner wraps their hand around you, and you both smile, remembering how hot last night was.
This position allows cuddling and allows lots of skin contact (I do not mean having unprotected sex; I meant body-to-body contact). This position is good for beginners and is built for the cold season (weather for two situations.) For this position, you and your partner will lie on your sides; you bring your knees up slightly while your partner penetrates you from behind. He can also hold you tight and give you lots of kisses while showing your clitoris some extra love.
This one is for those of you that are fond of disturbing your partner anytime they are working; you know those situations where your partner is on his laptop, and you take it away from them and climb on top of them while they are still in the chair (this is so hot by the way). Or when you make him sit and watch as you take off your clothes while he looks at you, this position is very sexy, and it allows you to get closer and intimate with your partner. You get the control of angle and thrust.
Your partner can even explore your erogenous zones in this position while you ride (e.g., playing with your nipples with his fingers). For this position, your partner will sit in a chair or on the edge of a bed, and then you sit on your partner’s lap while they are still seated.
This position is very stimulating and leaves your hands free for caresses and grabbing, and it can be a bit exhausting. For this position, you or your partner will lie on your back, with one leg stretched and the other bent, while your partner penetrates you with one of their legs folded. Your partner can also hold your bent leg up to support himself while he ravages you with strokes.
Rock and Roll/Legs up
This position is so satisfying and also easy for beginners too. You get to have eye contact in this position, so you get to look at your partner intensely while having sex. For this position, you have to lie on your back with your leg up, pointed towards your head. Your partner will kneel in front of you and penetrate you. Enjoy this position, moan as loud as you want; your partner will like that.
This position will allow you to relax and enjoy the ride; besides, there is much butt grabbing. This position is like the doggy style but a little low-key. For this position, you will lie face down with your legs straight and your hips raised while your partner comes from behind and sits while raising your hips to his body. Your partner will penetrate you from this position.
This position will make climaxing very easy for you to attain. This position is ideal for female dominating sexual partners. Switch up cowgirl with this option. Start by kneeling on top of your partner, pushing off their chest, and sliding up and down the thighs. But your partner helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust.
There you go, have fun with these, and make sure you have protected sex o. In short, abstain from sex, kids (haha). Would you please try to make the first-timers as comfortable as possible and make sure you have their consent before you start to do anything with them? Talk to them about it and make sure their agreement to have sex is clear.
Please do not force anyone to have sex with you; it is totally wrong and messed up to do that. And if you do that and you haven’t got caught yet, I hope you get caught and get stoned to death. (There is no room for rapists on this blog)
This was really fun, I enjoyed writing this, and I hope you will enjoy reading this too. Please leave a comment in the comment section if you loved what you read and tell me if you would like to know more about sex positions for beginners?
Thank you for reading, and I will see you next time.