Hello everyone, how are you doing? It is good to have you back; I hope you are well. Guess whose birthday it is this Saturday? Mine (yay), so happy birthday to me from Erotics and Whatnot. If you read to the end, there is an announcement.

Today we will be talking about getting over virginal fright, this is a real issue, and I felt there are people out there who need this.

Virginal fright means the fear of losing your virginity, a lot of people have or have had virginal fright at one point or the other.

For first-timers, sex can be a little tasking; you are about to lose your virginity and might have some questions, or you are having mixed feelings, which is perfectly fine. Do not feel stupid if you have questions about sex.

So if you are having mixed feelings about your first time or your partner has virginal fright and is worried about having sex for the first time, then you should show them this post.

I curated an eleven-point list to help people get over virginal fright, but before we begin, know that no one can make this decision for you but you.

You can read this blog post as much as you like, but if you don’t decide to get over your virginal fright, it won’t help.

Ways to get over Virginal Fright

Virginal fright
  • Your Virginity isn’t a gift: Yes, it is not a gift for you to give out to anyone. Don’t treat it as a gift or let anyone tell you to gift them your virginity; don’t see it as a gift to give to your partner because they have been faithful or nice to you or because it is their birthday. No matter how nice a person has been to you or how much you love them, you do not owe them your virginity. No sign won’t fall from heaven and tell you to give it a to person as a gift, it is your decision if you want to have your first sex with someone but don’t consider it as a gift.
  • You have to be relaxed: When you want to have sex, you need to be relaxed and  be aroused in an environment that you feel safe in so sex can go smoothly for you. It is okay to be scared but try to relax and trust your partner to help you in the process as this will help you get over your virginal fright.
Source: GIPHY
  • It takes a lot of planning to have your first sex: I know you might be wondering that it is just sex, just lay down and get pounded. No it isn’t like that the first time, there are a lot of questions to be answered like; what time are we having sex? Should I be on birth control, who should get condoms, what if I get semen in my body, is my partner free of any STDs. These are questions you will be faced with when you want to have your first sex, don’t take any chances, discuss with your partner so you can have your first sex in an environment and situation that is comfortable for you.
  • Not everybody will bleed: Yes, not all virgins (female) will bleed when they have their first sex so when your female partner tells you she is a virgin and you two have sex and you see that she don’t bleed, don’t start accusing her of being a liar. Instead talk to her about it, she might be telling the truth about being a virgin.  Why this happens is the hymen (the thin tissues that stretches the opening of the vagina) can naturally stretch without actual penetration, factors like sports, using tampon or putting fingers or other objects in the vagina and stretch the vagina, there cannot be bleeding when penetrated by a penis.  For those that their hymen hasn’t been stretched yet, they will bleed when they are penetrated by a penis.
  • It could hurt a little: Most women who have virginal fright are often scared of this. There is no need to be scared; it won’t hurt on a large scale unless you have Vaginismus (if you want to know more about this, just click on the link and read all about it). When you want to have sex, as a first timer or not, you have to be properly lubricated, I mean you have to be wet down there. For this you need to engage in foreplay, kissing, necking, touching, fingering and the rest just to make sure the vagina is properly lubricated. If the vagina isn’t lubricated, there will be friction and this will cause pain for first timers.  If you don’t get wet even after all the foreplay then you can get a water based lube that you can use to make the process easy for you. Remember the first time is all about you so get as comfortable as you want to be.
  • Don’t feel ashamed of being a virgin: This stigma is still one of the most confusing ones to me, how it is a problem that someone is still a virgin. No one should have to feel ashamed of their virginal status, there is nothing wrong with you if you are a virgin so do not allow people to laugh at you if you are a virgin, it is your choice, okay?. Virginal fright feels like shit, I know but you shouldnt feel ashmed.
  • Your body will fell different: Virginal fright will have your mind messed up about this but your body changing after sex is good thing. You would definitely feel like a whole new world has opened to you when you have your first sex. Your vagina will be more open and you will comfortable with the idea of having sex often. Your breast will temporarily became firmer when you get aroused and your nipples will get more sensitive, now I know why ovulations come with a lot of horny. This is because your blood flow will increase when you get aroused thus affecting your breasts and your nipples.
  • Your relationship with your partner might change: Okay so your first sex will bring you closer with your partner if you are in a loving environment and if it is a hook up, don’t assume that sex will start the relationship; a relationship doesn’t start to exist unless both parties agree clearly to it. As someone that has virginal fright, you would have thought about this over a million times. You might start getting conscious of yourself and start asking questions like: is my partner going to respect me now that I have had my first sex, will I be comfortable having a baby with this person if I eventually miss my period and get pregnant, what is going to happen to our relationship in the long run?. In fact any argument or misunderstanding after you have sex will have you overthinking.
  • Sexual Attraction doesn’t always equal Emotional Attraction: Most people want to have their first sex with a person they feel emotionally attracted to but it is not often the case. You can be sexually attracted to someone and not want to be involved with them emotionally and that is fine. Both parties can come together to have sex without being in a loving relationship. Virginal fright will have you thinking if it’s not with someone you are into, it won’t mean that much but it is all in your head. I am sexually attracted to Rihanna and I would love for her to dominate me one day (I am so sorry 😩).
  • You have the right to say no: This is really important,  if you do not feel safe or uncomfortable in an environment where you want to have sex, you have the right to say no, don’t allow anyone force you to give consent for sex,  don’t allow anyone guilt trip you into having sex with them. Have sex only when you feel comfortable and ready to do it.
Source: GIPHY
  • You can talk to a therapist or see a doctor: You might think this is extreme but no it isn’t, if you are confused about having sex and have lots of questions, you can schedule a therapist appointment and you can have a session with your therapist. No judgement, just ask everything you need to ask. This will really help you get over virginal fright.

We have come to the end of today’s post, I hope you will be able to overcome your virginal fright, and if you aren’t 100% able to overcome it yet, then I suggest you go back to step 11.

Always remember to ask for consent when you want to have sex. If you would like to see more content like this post on Erotics and Whatnot, drop a comment and let me know what you think about it in the comments and also tell me what you liked about it.

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